Why Your Cable Bill is so Goddamn High

I ordered VOIP service from Comcast the other day, and the lady who sold it to me said I would be getting a new cable modem in the mail, along with a return address label so I could mail back the old one. I was expecting something about the size of a shoebox to show up in the mail and was more than a little surprised to see this 24″ x 24″ x 24″ monstrosity delivered:

My heart raced with delight.  Maybe they had gotten tired of screwing me over all these years and sent me a free HD receiver and DVR!  Oh, what could it be?  It was like Christmas! Upon opening this gigantic thing, I saw two additional boxes:

I opened those and found that one of them contained my new cable modem, wires and instruction booklet…

While the other contained nothing except a UPS return label.

So here is all the packaging next to the items (including the old cable modem I am returning) for which the packaging is intended. That seems pretty reasonable.

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